Why Homebirth?

The decision to Home birth was not one I made lightly. I also did not think I would ever experience it nor did I really wanted to. However, I have always wanted to have a water birth. Laboring in warm water sounded like a soothing and more serene birthing environment.  I also liked the idea for the baby to go from being in warm water in the womb to warm water out of the womb, and not such a shocking entrance into the world. It just made sense to me and sounded wonderful. But there were no birthing pools in the hospitals near me. I hope that one day birthing centers and birthing pools in hospitals will be readily available to those wanting to experience such a birth but perhaps cannot birth at home or perhaps don’t feel comfortable at home. In my experience wherever you feel the most comfortable and safe is where you will have the most positive birthing experience.

My decision to home birth did not come from a dislike to hospitals. I had my first 3 babies in hospitals and thought that the care in the hospital especially after the baby was what I wanted and needed. I even wanted to be a nurse before I decided to go to hair school, but hair ended up being more conducive to being a stay at home mum. There were multiple events that led to my decision, primarily my previous birthing experiences. So, here are the condensed versions of my previous delivery experiences.

Carter’s birth-

I found a group practice of 7 Obstetricians. I was assigned one, but whoever was on call the day of my labour would be the doctor to deliver. Out of all my Dr. appointments I only met with my assigned Dr. a couple of times and the other times I met with a student. In the end the Dr. to deliver my baby was one I had never met and she was only there for the last half an hour or so of pushing. The nurses I had were constantly in and out monitoring and poking, and I was hooked up to an IV with antibiotics for the entire 9hrs I was there, so I was pretty much bed ridden. Needless to say, I was not attached to nor had any connection with the care workers, nor did I feel comfortable and relaxed with them. They talked me into having morphine when I had previously said I did not want pain medication but I trusted their advice and then was quite nauseous from it. I was then throwing up as well as being in labour.  After a while they decided it would be best to break my water to speed things up. It did indeed do that and also made things extremely intense for me. The contractions were so intense that I lost it. I hyperventilated which caused my hands to lock up rendering them useless. They tried to give me gas to take the edge off but without the use of my hands it was very difficult. I was not calm and I was definitely not in control. I tore pretty bad which caused me a lot of pain when sitting for more than a week. After Carter was born we were both very drowsy from the morphine. It took Carter a while before he could nurse without falling asleep. He was quite fussy and wanted to sleep on me. Mark stayed with us and often the three of us were would squish in the bed. This brought a lot of warnings from the nurses and they are were constantly asking us to make sure we didn’t “fall asleep” like that or with the baby in the bed with me. The lady in the bed next to mine also had a very fussy baby who cried most of the night. Needless to say, II didn’t get much sleep in the hospital. I felt pretty sure that if I felt more secure and confident with my body and what it could handle, I could have remained calm everything would have gone smoother. I am pretty wimpy when it comes to pain so you can imagine how scared I was to have to cope with the intense pain of childbirth that has women screaming their heads off in the movies. I have now realized Childbirth is a different kind of pain than say, an ear infection. It has an end, usually when you feel like you can’t handle anymore that means the end is near, and you have an amazing, perfect little angel in your arms to reward you for everything. It’s worth it, and that’s why we do it over and over and over.

  Leilani’s Birth-

Second time around I decided I wanted to know the person that would help bring my baby into the world. Your midwife is also your friend. She listens and takes the time to explain all the procedures and tests. With my first pregnancy I was told it was time to take a certain test and I took it, I was told I needed certain things I and took them, I was told my baby needed specific things and I gave them. Not knowing why or even understanding exactly what I was doing. This time, I was given lots of papers with detailed facts and explanations of each procedure and test. I was given the information so I could then make an informed decision. This was very eye opening to me. I was more aware of my options and felt trusted to make informed decisions. It felt like a relationship rather than just being told what to do and blindly following. And I liked it.

So I decided to stay at home and labour there for as long as possible this time. After about 16 hours of early labour, my midwife came and checked me and I was only 2cm, so she suggested I have a bath and she went back home. After 45mins I got out and lay down, as the contractions had started to be quite intense. I closed my eyes and envisioned holding my baby and this helped me to stay calm and in control. After a couple of these I decided it was time to go to the hospital and I wanted to try having the nitrous oxide again. My midwife met us there. My water broke when I got to the delivery room and the pressure was extreme. I had asked for the gas but my midwife informed me I could push so I didn’t end up using it. After the second push my mother came in from parking the car and made it just in time to see the baby come with the fourth push. My midwife barely had time to put on her gloves! Leilani had arrived 7mins from the time we arrived at the hospital. She came out alert and hungry and nursed well right away. 

 Jacob’s Birth-

I decided this time around I didn’t want to risk having the baby in the car so I left when things were picking up but not too intense. I had a couple of hours walking in the hospital halls. This got old pretty fast. I tried to labour with a birthing ball but the floor in my room was hard and cold. There was also no bath so I couldn’t try that to help speed things along. When I got tired of walking I lay down to try to rest for a little while. After about an hour I asked when I could have the gas as I could feel the transition coming on. I was given it right away and was able to stay focused and calm breathing through it. My first suck of gas actually brought on the giggles. And I could see how it got its name. Around an hour later I felt the urge to push but I couldn’t get into position on my own as the gas had created an almost paralyzed sensation. After a few pushes and enormous amount of water, Jacob was born. I had pushed him out too fast though and he had some bruising because of it. I made a mental note to push a little slower to prevent this and tearing. He had some mucous that he needed to cough up before he was able to nurse properly. We got a private room this time which was AMAZING. It was nice to be able to have more privacy and my own bathroom. Overall, things went pretty smoothly.

The difference between having a Dr. and a midwife was such a big one to me that I knew I always wanted a midwife. Then we moved to Alberta.  Midwifery had just recently started to be covered under health care. The problem with it being so new though was that you had to have a registered midwife which were scarce since they weren’t covered previously. Luckily, by the time I was pregnant again there was a group practice not too far away.  I soon found out that they could only do home births as they hadn’t received hospital rights yet. I then had to make a big decision. Do I go with a Dr. in the hospital or a midwife at home? If I had one at home I could finally have the water birth I wanted. My sister had also recently had water birth with her first baby at home with a positive experience.  Then my husband who had previously been against home births came home with the news of a study (http://www.cmaj.ca/content/181/6-7/377.full ) done in B.C. that concluded that home births with a midwife were just as safe and resulted in less intervention than hospital deliveries with a Dr. This was BIG news and very exciting to hear. So, with my husband’s approval we decided to have a home birth for our fourth child. I was so excited to FINALLY have the water birth I had always wanted. 

  As you can see there were many different factors that led up to my final decision and once I had made it I was very excited. I did more reading of books, blogs etc. to prepare for this birth than I had for any other. I look forward to sharing this story with you in a future post.

I Have a Dream...

I had a dream last night that I was talking to a group of mother's, some that I hadn't seen in years, and we were sharing our birth stories. This gave me the idea to create a place for women wanting to share their stories and for women looking for experiences from those who have been there. I don't think I'm alone in this desire to share and hear other women's birthing experiences. It is something so special and spiritual and often private. But when you're pregnant it becomes an obsession to learn, read, and watch as much as you can about different births so you can experience that "magical" moment in the way you have always dreamed. But, to many it may be a terrifying and anxious time. Especially since movies and media like to show that aspect. YES it's INTENSE. Probably one of the most intense things a woman can experience but it doesn't have to be scary. From my experiences, the more fearful I was the more pain I felt. Of course, there are times when things go wrong and intervention is necessary but I'm not talking about those times I'm talking about the average healthy pregnancy and birth experience. I am not a professional but I am experienced as are so many amazing women I know and I wanted to create a place for those stories to be told and shared. I have had 4 babies and each birth was a very different experience. My first baby was born in a hospital with a doctor and my last baby was born at home with a midwife. My first birth had morphine and nitrous oxide for pain relief and my last had a warm soothing pool of water and counter pressure. There really is no comparison from my first to my fourth. My first I felt lost, helpless, nauseated, out of control, and I hyperventilated. My fourth had minor issues (which I will tell in another post) but I felt supported, loved, empowered, strong, and in a way primeval. Like there was this inner strength within me I never knew I had. It was amazing and so different from my first experience.We as women are strong, powerful and capable of greatness. We can grow life within us and bring life into this world. It is a beautiful, precious thing that doesn't get enough positive light. My real life dream would be for every woman to believe that it is possible for them. We have enough darkness and fear in this world. We need more light and hope.